because deep down I am totally a child

This year, my birthday falls on a Tuesday. Awkward.

I know it's a few months away, but I already know exactly what I'm going to do.

That's right. A moon bounce. We're renting one all day, buying a keg of something I can drink and cooking out in the backyard the whole Sunday before. Because that's how real grown-ups roll.

And then on my actual birthday, dinner somewhere nice like respectable adults. Maybe Komi. Because why not?

lonely freak blues

Why all the posts lately about babies? Because pretty much every time I try to make advance plans with a friend, she ends up pregnant and cancels. It's starting to make me terrified that eventually I'm going to run out of friends to hang out with, and that something is wrong with me because I've always known I don't want kids. It's kind of hard to be happy for my friends when I'm lonely and feel like a freak.

Or maybe I can just take Nick's advice and get a bartending job; according to my husband, "degenerates" like him always hang out and make you feel like it's Cheers.

I want a gluten free *sandwich* directory!

Today, I had a massive craving for a burger. The problem? I'm gluten intolerant. I won't die if I eat a piece of bread, but my day is pretty much over; I get cranky, congested and itchy, and develop heartburn that doubles me over in pain. If I'm lucky, I just fall asleep and wake up feeling hungover the next morning.

When I Google "gluten free burger restaurant DC" or any equivalent search phrase, nothing worthwhile comes up. So I'm going to start a new blog label here, called simply "gluten free sandwich." Every time I encounter a restaurant that offers gluten free bread or buns as an option for their sandwiches, it will get that tag. It's unlikely Hopefully one day, there will be enough options that I can start my own app or directory or what have you, but until then, here are my only three current contributions:

Red Robin: this is a national chain, but they are delicious and offer gluten free buns for their burgers. That plus bottomless steak fries equals fat gluten free kid heaven.

Jimmy John's: again, a chain. But the JJ Unwiches are pretty much the stuff dreams are made of. Leave the cheese off, and they're even paleo. The Italian Night Club unwich made me feel bad for people who eat bread - they have to chew through all of that dough nonsense before they get to the good stuff inside.

The Wicked Waffle: a sandwich shop that puts all of its sandwiches on halves of Belgian waffles would totally creep me out, if they didn't offer gluten free waffles. The parking is atrocious, inside the place looks like a Bourbon Street daiquiri shop and the music is strictly Euro-crap, but if I can eat a gluten-free version of every single sandwich on the menu, I can put up with a whole lot.

they're expensive, too

Sometimes, when I see my husband and his twelve year old sister playing together, I feel pretty guilty about not wanting kids. He'd be a fantastic dad: really fun and patient and hands on.
Then I remember that I teach children for a living, and at the end of the school day, want nothing more than to be away from children and around adults. Then I feel OK again. He doesn't really want to be a dad anyway. Too much work.

I heart the Constitution

Weeks like the last two make me very happy that the United States is governed by a constitution and not public opinion polls. I don't care if Dzokhar Tsarnaev was born on the moon; he is a citizen of this country and deserves the same right to a fair trial as every other citizen, regardless of where he was born, or how/if he worships, or the accusations he faces. I also don't care if 700% of Americans support even stricter gun control laws than the ones we have now; barring the (highly improbable) repeal of the Second Amendment, there is a constitution that says they're wrong. Thank you, Republicans in Congress, for the first reasonable thing you've done since that time you voted against re-upping the Patriot Act. And shame on you, anti-gun activists and NRA blowhards, for all of your self-serving fear mongering.

I'm not ever a huge fan of taking citizens' rights away, but I'm especially uneasy when these actions are motivated by ill-conceived, reactionary impulses. Laws are supposed to ensure rights, not strip them.

it's mathematics

The streets in Washington, D.C., run three ways: east-west, north-south, and diagonally. East-west streets are designated alphabetically; north-south streets are designated numerically; diagonal streets have state names.

The alphabetical designations of the streets running east-west begin on each side of East Capitol Street and The National Mall. The first street on each is A, the next is N, the third is C; on through Y, with no J, X or Z Streets and the I shown by Eye. Once the letters of the alphabet are exhausted, the streets have two-syllable names, then three-syllable names, and then names of trees and flowers. Sometimes this system is referred to as the second, third and fourth alphabets.

The numerical designations of the streets running north-south begin on each side of North and South Capitol Streets. The first street on each side is First Street, the next is Second Street, and so on.

North, South and East Capitol Streets and The National Mall divide Washington, D.C., into four sections: Northwest, Northeast, Southwest and Southeast. The streets are identified by the section of the city in which they are located. For example: C Street NW; C Street NE; C Street SW and C Street SE.

definitely not an atheist

Sometimes, when I think about the horrors of the Middle Passage, or of the Holocaust - any genocide, really - I get so angry at God that I can't help but cry. How am I supposed to put faith in a God who sits back and allows so many people to suffer? And don't talk to me about mysteries of faith and master plans: you know who else had a master plan? Hitler.

These are the moments I wish I was an atheist.